always learning

this past week has been full of frustration, concern, unbelief, and confusion, but also a week of peace and insight. 

I went to my regular annual check up last week and during my exam a lump was found in my right breast. 

that's the same one that gave us trouble awhile ago! 

I was sent for a sonogram/ultrasound to check it out.  I thought it would be nothing.  perhaps some scar tissue from my previous cancer surgeries.  the ultrasound detected suspicion...I couldn't believe it.  I had just been in for my 6 month check up at Roswell Cancer Institute, where everything looked just fine. 

they wanted to send me for a biopsy. 

ryan and I were totally freaked out. 

I even called my mom, like a scared little girl, crying. 

(say that like hans and franz!) 

then I got tough, and decided to go ahead with a planned trip to st Louis, that afternoon. 

my mother in law had knee surgery a couple of weeks ago.  I thought we should zip down for the long weekend to help her out. 
in the meantime, I was able to get an appointment at Roswell for the following Wednesday. 

we said lots of prayers. 
we asked our families for extra prayers. 
we fasted on sunday.
we asked our families to fast with us. 

sunday was a peaceful day for me. 
My mind felt so calm and restful. 

In the evening, Ryan and his dad gave me a blessing. 
The peace continued. 
It was so nice to feel such calm and peace.

I don't feel that very often, and I commented several times to ryan about it. 

yesterday I went to roswell...

expecting them to find cancer and expecting to hear that I would need a mastectomy. 

a mastectomy would likely have been my next step in treatment the last go 'round. 

turns out, the lump was just a fatty deposit. 

a cyst filled with oil.

that's it! 

they don't even care about those. 

no big deal. 

it's taken me a while to absorb the great news, as I was expecting the worst. 

throughout this week of questions and the unknown, I felt such peace and I thank Heavenly Father for blessing me with it. 

I was reminded how much prayer and fasting can really benefit a person's life. 

I wonder what might have happened had we NOT prayed and fasted. 
I wonder if the lump WAS cancer and a miracle occurred.
(my nurse practitioner was REALLY concerned) 

I don't doubt that could happen. 

I just wonder about it all. 

sometimes prayer and fasting seem sort of mystical to me, even though I know of their power.  maybe because they are centered on faith and not something I can reach out and touch, or check off a list, or purchase at the store. 

sometimes I think it would be nice if I could just grab a packet of faith at wegmans in the baking aisle. 

then when I needed some, I could just tear open the package and sprinkle some in my smoothie at breakfast. 

voila! 

you have faith! 

i'll bet faith would even be added to the daily food requirements. 

(you know how it used to be the food pyramid, but now it's the plate) 

they would probably add it to the vegetable or fruit requirement, because it's that important! 

anyway- it's a good thing to always be on the lookout for learning experiences. 

something a little less nerve-wracking for the next time is my hope! 

although, it was a good Halloween scare. 

so true...

tonite, our aftie is not feeling well.

I even took her to the doctor earlier this afternoon. 

she was supposed to go to a raucous "cupcake war" birthday party tonite, but opted out. 

after school, we were heading to the newly opened Hobby Lobby to pick out a gift for the party tonite.  she's been dying to go all week, but wasn't up to staying more than 5 or 10 minutes. 

 

ella's journal entry this evening reads,

"my sister loves crafts and it is an awesome craft store.  but my sister didn't want to go.  that is always a sign that she is either really, really tired or she is not feeling good at all!"

 

ella really knows her sister!